Welcome- to 2012. This is sure to be the most culturally devoid entry you’ll ever see. There’s literally nothing even remotely related to Korean culture here. It’s not that they haven’t offended me greatly, or defied logic yet again- I just have other things on my mind right now. You could look at this with an optimistic mind-set and conclude that it’ll be free of racism. Well, I hate to spoil those pleasant thoughts- but it’s not. Don’t look surprised.
So I guess, as you read this, that ninety per cent of you have already given up/never actually tried in the first place with your New Year’s resolutions. Well, I only made one. And I’m sticking to it. Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook will undoubtedly know that I’m running the Seoul Marathon in March.
My reasons? Well, it’s the type of thing I’ve always said I could do quite easily- running long distance has never really ever troubled me. I have a signature technique that I’ve coined ‘The Gear’ – it involves me setting my pace early on and being able to maintain said pace for as long as I desire, without ever tiring or being out of breath- it’s pretty much human cruise control. “The wall” doesn’t even exist in my world. Coming soon in March 2012- Tom O’Rourke goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet of words.
More importantly, though, it gives me a chance to raise money for a worthy cause- Alhzeimer’s Society. My family have been directly affected by dementia and, as the money I raise will go towards helping other families through it, it was a no brainer as to which charity to choose. Why put myself through the punishment of twenty six odd miles just for self-satisfaction? I have plenty of that already.
So, how’s my training going so far? Well, it’s going fantastic. According to my iPod Nano, I ran a half marathon in sixty-five minutes on Wednesday- just seven minutes shy of the world record. Not bad- for a non-Kenyan. And I have no reason to doubt the accuracy of my iPod’s ‘built in accelerometer’…
However, such astounding pace has come at a price. The morning after, I woke up to a weird throbbing/tingling on the bottom of my right foot, which has meant I’ve had the walking ability of a Korean businessman under the influence of soju. Doctors would, obviously, advise me to rest it and such nonsense- but with only eight weeks to go, such advice is obviously meant to be ignored. Plus, if I didn’t run, I’d have time to write another blog- nobody wants that.
Instead, I have my own solution and theories, acquired through the findings of the wise people at Google search engine. The culprit for my pain is, obviously, my running shoes- my Nike Frees are simply not up to the task. So, I’m doing exactly what Nike wants me to do, and switching to their Lunar Eclipse models- according to a totally neutral statement from their website, they’ll bless me with “a plush, bouncy ride when running those miles.” As sexual as it sounds, I’m a believer.
So, now we’ve done with the resolution portion of this blog, I must tell you about the great start I’ve had to the New Year. So far, my Xbox has broken on me- twice. Also, my schedule has changed so I’ve been dumped with an extra class and three extra hours on my (previously nice) Monday timetable. Turns out that the Mayan calendar was right after all.
Let’s address Microsoft and their malfunctioning man’s toy first. When, I returned from snowboarding on January 1st, I thought I’d dabble in a spot of FIFA after an absence from the game of a month or two. I figured I deserved a bit of finger exercise after the amount of falling over and looking cool I’d done during the weekend.
Well, Bill Gate’s brainchild saw red after I decided to obey the ‘system update’ message I was presented with when turning on the machine. On its self-initiated restart, the power light flashed three life threatening blinks of death. This is more commonly known as the Red Ring of Death to people who consider socialising a Saturday night spent playing Call of Duty online, with their ‘friends’. Bonus points if you wear one of the headsets.
So, I then resorted to the trusty ‘Craigslist’ website and enlisted the help of a repairman who offered to fix it for £45. Fair enough, I thought- a price worth paying to avoid doing anything productive during my evenings.
When it was delivered to my apartment this Friday, I unwrapped it like a child on Christmas day, and plugged it in. Lo and behold, the red lights had been replaced with an emerald shimmer that prompted an outcry of “F**k yeah!” Just like on Christmas mornings from back in the days when my presents didn’t have a logo of a half-eaten apple on them.
Fast forward to a couple hours before writing this blog. I thought that I’d spend the afternoon brushing up on my FIFA skills as, while I beat my flatmate on Friday, it was not the complete and utter massacre that I’d been expecting.
Well, as I turned it on, another message popped up on the screen offering me yet another system update. I clearly hadn’t learnt my lesson, and duly obliged with my Xbox’s request. Upon the console restarting, the red light lights beamed out with pride yet again. That repair lasted about as long as Kerry Katona manages to stay thin for any one period of time.
So, that, in essence, is why you’ve got this blog early. Not in two months, as I’d planned. Because I’ve got nothing better to do. In an ideal world, I’d be 5-0 up against my flatmate right now…
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