Incheon the Dragon

OK, so the first week of teaching is officially done! How did it go? Like the first word of this week's blog, I suppose, it went OK.

I would say that, so far, it's been completely 50/50. About half of my classes are little angels and hang on every word I say. The other half, meanwhile, are little s**ts and don't even give one! I'm so polite, aren't I?

I find that it's the boys that are the problem. Attention span-wise, think of the retarded offspring of a Daddy-Long-Legs and an excitable puppy. If those two got together, mind, I'd pretty much expect retarded children.

I've tried everything to get them to listen. I tried being engaging and kind- they laughed in my face. I tried being angry- they laughed in my face. I tried ignoring their behaviour- they laughed in my... see a pattern here?! The only weapon I have in my arsenal is football. They eat, sleep and drink it- in other words, they 'Coca-Cola' it. Next week I'll tell you how I manage to fit football into an English Language lesson...

It doesn't help, of course, that I can't plan my lessons. Disorganisation is the new organisation. I get told five minutes before each lesson, what I'm supposed to be teaching. And I have to teach from a textbook which is A) Really boring and B) Too easy for them. I can't even take this textbook home either. I can basically plan games to play in the lessons and that's about it. It's pretty frustrating, I guess. Hold on a minute... since when, in my life, have I actually wanted to do more work?? The Korean work ethic must be rubbing off on me. Gutted.

The nice kids are great- I usually end the day with them. I get called handsome and tall about 63 times a day. Still mostly by boys. But, that means I get home in a good mood- why aren't people in the UK this honest?? Oh, remember how 'home' was a bomb-site? Not any more. Thursday was a bank holiday- Children's Day (where was that holiday when I was a kid?!?)- so I cleaned. All day. Eat your heart out ,Kim & Aggy! One whole day. It took that long. The bathroom was a state- I've seen things, man... I got imaginative with blankets too- our sofa's tears have now mysteriously disappeared... It's hospitable now, anyway- it'll do.

As of yet, I haven't found a football team to play for. Or a gym. My flatmate was supposed to show me one- then he ordered a takeaway instead. For now, I've gotten inventive with the kids playground in our courtyard and one dumb-bell I found in our apartment. I get a lot of 'Are you a Paedophile?' looks when working out. I just nod and stick my hand back down my pants. Obviously, I'm kidding- I'm not wearing any pants.

This weekend heralds another trip to Seoul to explore. Where, exactly, is still to be decided. I may just follow the guy in front that looks like Jet Li/Jackie Chan/Gok Wan and see if he leads me anywhere interesting. I'll hopefully get to try more Korean food, as I'm meeting with my flatmate on Sunday- he knows all the best places. Hopefully something a little less spicy, though- it's 24 degrees Celsius and the food is making me sweat more than the weather.

Other than that, there's not much else to tell. I'm just going to spend the rest of my Friday night watching 'How I met Your Mother' (this is my new show to watch, I've decided). Tune in next time for another week's worth of offensive and politically incorrect nonsense.